Banned from zoo.
Again?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
