Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
