I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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