I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
