i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
