Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she smelled like a LAN party
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
