Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
