i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
