what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
