Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
