he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
