shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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