I wannas sexs uuuuu
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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