She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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