i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your cock deserves a montage
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
