I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
