My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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