The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
