Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
