i just google imaged poop.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
