Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
