U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
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