i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
