apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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