My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
