Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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