I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
