i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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