Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
