Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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