I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My life is pants optional.
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