are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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