Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
