guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
