Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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