I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
