porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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