At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
