just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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