I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
