it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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