My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
