I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
