He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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