Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
