next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize