i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize