hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
