Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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(408): View more from California

ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.

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(925): View more from California

So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

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(217): View more from Illinois

turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.

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