just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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