So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
