White coat. Heels.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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