I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
