Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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