I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
