I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
