We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sext me about skeletons
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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