That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
