office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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