FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
