Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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