If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You've changed since you got that strap on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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