you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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