"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
