This girl is more easily done than said...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
