dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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